"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield." - Psalm 33:20
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God, my hope comes from him." - Psalm 62:5
I love the Psalms. I love that he is hope enough.
Here we are at 25 weeks and I find myself desperately clinging to hope still. There are days it's hard to fall on His truth and His word. Then there are days I am quickly reminded of his word. I had my weekly MFM appointment this morning to check cervical length again. I measured at about 2.1cm - down several millimeters from last week. Despite the minor/mm difference in length, the doctors say it is stabilizing. I tend to look at those small numbers with my emotions. I see some negativity rather than what it is - stability and stability is good. It's discouraging to hear. I want those numbers to be going up! It's a little scary to imagine all the possibilities of what can happen if things don't improve. I remember crying when I got in the car to head home and praying that the Lord would hear my heart; that I want so desperately to cling to him through my emotions rather than dwell on the what ifs and the fear. He's got this. This is true. His hands are all over this journey. I just kept thinking "hope, hope enough."
What does this mean medically? I continue to go weekly to monitor the length. If it shortens to below 2cm they will then give me steroid shots to help the babies lungs develop sooner as a precaution to preterm labor and needing to survive outside the womb. I am thankful that we are at a viable stage (24 weeks the babies become viable outside the womb). Am I still prayerful that we make it to at least 36 weeks? YES. This would be ideal. There's not much else I can do myself other than continue to take it easy. I'm going to try to limit my activity even more than I already have. It will be hard, but I know over the past week I've done more than usual because family was in town visiting. I'm a doer, especially as a mom, so it has been hard at times to not be able to go and do with my 3 year old as much as I'd like to. I'm doing the best I can and trying to let help in, but I do miss my little boy and my role as mom at times. It's just a season. He still loves his mommy, but man, it hurts my heart a little.
In other news, the girls are doing well. Great heartbeats, cute little faces and profiles, and baby B moved positions again! Last week both babies were head down. Now baby A is still head down, but B has moved back to her original transverse spot - laying across the top/belly button. My ligament pain in my left leg/hip has started acting up again, which I attribute to the change in B's position. Sleep has been a bit challenging. I'm most comfortable on my left side, but because of the ligament pain, it has become more painful. Especially when I have to get up in the middle of the night - I've lost count how many times my hip/joint has popped as I've sat up to get out of bed. My right ankle/foot has started swelling more this week as well. Awesome.
Last week I forgot to mention the results of my glucose test from a few weeks back. No diabetes for us! They did discover that I'm mildly anemic. I've already been taking an iron supplement, so I don't have to up the dose on that, but they've added some vitamin C to my lovely list of meds I take each day - I swear, I'm taking a pill for something at almost every point in each and every day. It's only for a season ;)
Nursery update: Richard got the cribs put together as well as the second dresser we bought. We've got the major furniture pieces arranged how we want them, so I started going through all the baby shower gifts and clothes. Their closet is filling up! You can barely see my childhood dresser among all the hangers and things.
Last week, I got together with a friend to work on wall decor for our baby's nurseries.
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." - Hebrews 6:19
No comments:
Post a Comment