Week 25

"Be strong and take heart, all who hope in the Lord." - Psalm 31:24

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield." - Psalm 33:20

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God, my hope comes from him." - Psalm 62:5

I love the Psalms. I love that he is hope enough.

Here we are at 25 weeks and I find myself desperately clinging to hope still. There are days it's hard to fall on His truth and His word. Then there are days I am quickly reminded of his word. I had my weekly MFM appointment this morning to check cervical length again. I measured at about 2.1cm - down several millimeters from last week. Despite the minor/mm difference in length, the doctors say it is stabilizing. I tend to look at those small numbers with my emotions. I see some negativity rather than what it is - stability and stability is good. It's discouraging to hear. I want those numbers to be going up! It's a little scary to imagine all the possibilities of what can happen if things don't improve. I remember crying when I got in the car to head home and praying that the Lord would hear my heart; that I want so desperately to cling to him through my emotions rather than dwell on the what ifs and the fear. He's got this. This is true. His hands are all over this journey. I just kept thinking "hope, hope enough."

What does this mean medically? I continue to go weekly to monitor the length. If it shortens to below 2cm they will then give me steroid shots to help the babies lungs develop sooner as a precaution to preterm labor and needing to survive outside the womb. I am thankful that we are at a viable stage (24 weeks the babies become viable outside the womb). Am I still prayerful that we make it to at least 36 weeks? YES. This would be ideal. There's not much else I can do myself other than continue to take it easy. I'm going to try to limit my activity even more than I already have. It will be hard, but I know over the past week I've done more than usual because family was in town visiting. I'm a doer, especially as a mom, so it has been hard at times to not be able to go and do with my 3 year old as much as I'd like to. I'm doing the best I can and trying to let help in, but I do miss my little boy and my role as mom at times. It's just a season. He still loves his mommy, but man, it hurts my heart a little.

In other news, the girls are doing well. Great heartbeats, cute little faces and profiles, and baby B moved positions again! Last week both babies were head down. Now baby A is still head down, but B has moved back to her original transverse spot - laying across the top/belly button. My ligament pain in my left leg/hip has started acting up again, which I attribute to the change in B's position. Sleep has been a bit challenging. I'm most comfortable on my left side, but because of the ligament pain, it has become more painful. Especially when I have to get up in the middle of the night - I've lost count how many times my hip/joint has popped as I've sat up to get out of bed. My right ankle/foot has started swelling more this week as well. Awesome.

Last week I forgot to mention the results of my glucose test from a few weeks back. No diabetes for us! They did discover that I'm mildly anemic. I've already been taking an iron supplement, so I don't have to up the dose on that, but they've added some vitamin C to my lovely list of meds I take each day - I swear, I'm taking a pill for something at almost every point in each and every day. It's only for a season ;)

Nursery update: Richard got the cribs put together as well as the second dresser we bought. We've got the major furniture pieces arranged how we want them, so I started going through all the baby shower gifts and clothes. Their closet is filling up! You can barely see my childhood dresser among all the hangers and things.

I ran out of hangers, so I still have some clothes to hang up and put away, but they will be dressed well thanks to all the new, some borrowed, and of course, some matching outfits!

Last week, I got together with a friend to work on wall decor for our baby's nurseries.

I love her scripture art and will be making a smaller version to put on the shelf in our girls' room. I enjoyed making the girl's initial art too. Super easy and inexpensive! The fabric I used actually matches the baby blankets a friend of mine made for them - too perfect since we're not buying bedding (just keeping it simple with fitted sheets and breathable bumper pads). I'll post pictures once the nursery is all together...for now, you just get the sneak peak of the closet and some of the decor.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." - Hebrews 6:19

Week 24: Baby Shower and Family Visit

 

Here we are at 24 weeks! At the end of last week I was feeling some abnormal discomfort and to say that I was worried would be an understatement. I was having some cramping and a dull pain in my lower back - some symptoms of preterm labor. So, I called my OB's office to find out if I should be concerned. I was told it was most likely my hips spreading and my body stretching to make room for the girls. I took some Tylenol and that seemed to ease the pain. I was so very thankful! But let me tell you, I've been feeling much more pregnant with twins now more than ever! I found out on Monday at my OB appointment that they have changed positions. Baby A (on my right) has always been head down and Baby B (on my left) has always been laying across my belly button. On the ultrasound A was breach and B was head down. We figured that's what caused the discomfort a few days prior - it takes a lot of work for two babies to work together to change positions like that. The next day I had my MFM appointment and actually discovered both babies are now head down. Baby A is pretty low in there, but the doctor didn't seem concerned. Heart beats were good as usual and my blood pressure was good. They checked my cervix and it was measuring about 2.4cm (last week was 2.1cm). Minor progress is great progress to me! The good news is it has stabilized since I started the progesterone and taking it easy. We'll check back in a week and keep monitoring it. We're continuing to pray the progress continues and they stay in there awhile longer. The goal is to reach 36 weeks!

Family arrived late Saturday evening after a long few days of driving from Oregon. A car full of women and a toddler - a bunch of crazies that love us! Sunday was an exciting day - baby shower day! I have loved having my family be able to be here to celebrate our babies - they got a two-for-one deal with this trip!

My lovely small group friends did a wonderful job hosting a beautiful shower for our girls. Tea for Two - seriously, so adorable. We are so very grateful for the amazing friends we have who came and showered us with clothes and all things baby girl! So thankful to the Lord for a good support system here who love us well, serve, and pray for us. A huge a THANK YOU to you all!

Tea for TWO delicious treats!

Sweet notes to Ellie and Nora

Me and cousin Kori (one of the twins in my family - we have several)

The car load - Aunt, mom, grandma, Kori, and niece Kinsley

Precious friends and hostesses! Love you all!

We had a full, fun outing to Waco before family left Wednesday. Richard tagged along and volunteered to squeeze in the very back between the two toddler car seats - his thinking was "if it's not me then it'd be your grandma and she shouldn't have to do that - she's old." I just love him.

hehehe!

My aunt had a request to stop at the show "Fixer Upper" shop, Magnolia. Fun little shop, some stuff I would have loved to get, but a little spendy for my wallet.

We grabbed lunch then headed over to the Dr. Pepper Museum for a treat.

Dr. Pepper float

My favorite person :)

Such a ham!

It was a fun day, but I was definitely feeling uncomfortable. Sitting upright in the car and at the restaurant was a bit rough - the girls were moving A LOT because their space was limited in that position. My feet started swelling as well. Oh the fun stuff of being pregnant. Had a nice long nap with my feet up once we got home.

We spend this morning at home and visiting with my family one last time before they headed out to drive home - they wanted to take a little more time heading back to Oregon so they could be better rested and also see some sights on the way. I'm so thankful they could come out and visit and celebrate with us - it's always hard to say goodbye. I wish we all lived closer, but this is where the Lord has us and we love it.

The nursery was painted while they were here - yay! So the next task up is to start getting the cribs and room together and decorating - the fun stuff! Can't wait to post pictures when it's all finished!

Week 23

Week 23 - made it to church Sunday!

Y'all. I'm already feeling large. I think it's because I feel so heavy carrying two littles instead of one because I don't feel I look too huge...yet. I feel them moving a lot, which is fun! They give me cravings for chocolate in the form of ice cream, which has become a staple (shhh! Some days I only have a little!). I still have some ligament pain on my left side, so sleeping has become a bit uncomfortable already and if I've been sitting for a longer period of time and then stand up - putting weight on that side is killer! My clothes are fitting ok. Certain things make feel bigger than I am, which is no fun for an emotional lady such as myself, but I have scored some great deals on clothes recently that will hopefully get me through a little while longer. The dress in the above picture - only $8 at a resale store! I went to the Just Between Friends consignment sale this past week with the hope of stocking up on some stuff for the babies and me. Walked away with a pretty good haul and little disappointment!

I found a few maternity items (for $5 each), an outfit for Josiah, a play mat for the girls ($12), a Boppy lounger, and twin breastfeeding pillow for a whopping $8! I definitely couldn't walk away without a few things for the girls either, so I found some super adorable dresses and jumpers for a great price! I'm a happy camper.

Since last week's MFM appointment I've been trying to take it easy. I've spent more time on the couch this past week than what I'm used to. Some days I have to work really hard to do nothing and other days it's easy to ask for help and not push myself. It's getting a little easier for me to ask the hubby for help with things - I know, it shouldn't be that difficult, but I'm very independent and feel bad asking for others to do things for me when I feel I should be capable of it myself. I'm working through it :) Thankful for a 3 year old that plays independently - oh how I would love to go outside with him or get on the floor and build tall towers too!

Yesterday a friend of mine insisted I come over with J so I could sit in their recliner and do nothing while she managed the kids (she has 3 of her own). I'll be honest, at first it was a little odd for me to let someone else do my job as a mom while I did nothing, but the Lord hushed my need for control and independence to help me see what blessings I have in my life and that though it looks like I'm doing nothing, I'm actually doing what is necessary and good for these littles growing inside me. I have so many friends here in Texas that would do whatever they can to help during this time of uncertainty and stress and worry. Without them I'd be a mess, I'm sure.

So that brings me to latest update after today's MFM appointment. Currently, my cervix has stabalized! Meaning, last week it was 2.0cm and today it measured at 2.1cm. It's moving up, which is what we want! Praying for that lengthening to continue as the weeks go on! I will continue taking the progesterone daily and taking it easy. I asked a ton of questions today - I see several different doctors, I needed some reassurance from a medical perspective. In regards to the surgical cerclage that was mentioned at my last appointment, this is not something they will do nor advise for my current situation. They will not do one after 24 weeks and since I'm almost there it's not really an option for me anymore. I was also informed that if they were to have had done one it would have been done earlier and only if my cervix was extremely short (less than 1.5cm). It was good to hear the doctor's thoughts on this as it was something that made me kind of nervous. So needless to say, I felt some relief when I was told they wouldn't do one. I also asked what would be done if I were to go into preterm labor. All the information they gave me today kind of put things into perspective for me. Yes, it's still worrisome, but I'm a bit more hopeful that the Lord will keep these babies inside awhile longer. The babies by they way, looked great as usual and my blood pressure was awesome today (she checked it twice to make sure since it had been higher in the past)! Woo-hoo!

So the rest and progesterone is still advised. I will continue to go in weekly to monitor my cervix. If there continues to be stability and/or length added then I'll go every other week, but for now we take it one day and one week at a time.

I felt good leaving the doctor today. For the first time in the past month, I haven't cried on my way home from my MFM appointment. The Lord knew I needed this. I've been struggling with clinging to him for hope in these times of worry, but oh how gracious he is and how he uses doctors and friends and family to remind you of his goodness and strength and remind you to pray. Though there are worries there are also blessings to be praising him for - these girls have always had a good report. Their heartbeats were great today. They are now over 1lb each. Their profiles are precious and I even got to see one of them having the hiccups today. He is creator and he is healer. He is almighty God. How can I not cling to that? I know I've said this a million times, but I am so very grateful for the people in our lives who are praying with us and for us! One of the biggest reasons I wanted to blog through this journey was not to have something to brag about or share just to share, but to keep the important people to us a part of the journey. You've prayed for us before it was public knowledge that were even trying to conceive and you've continued to pray through each milestone and that is amazing to me! So I share this so I can not only look back and see God move through his people and through the power of prayer, but also so YOU may see his power; that YOU may be used by him. So, thank you thank you thank you!

Week 22

If you've been following our blog then you already know that I've been seeing my MFM doctors each week to have my cervix length checked - it was short several weeks ago. I was put on progesterone last week to help regulate it (and hopefully lengthen it). I went yesterday to check it and it's even shorter - last week it was at 2.3 cm, yesterday it was at 2.0 cm. Normal range for around 22 weeks is anywhere from 3.5 cm to 4.0 cm I think. A short cervix can cause preterm labor. Currently I will continue taking the progesterone and taking it easy until next week's appointment. Next step will be to decide if I should get a surgical cerclage - where they stitch around the cervix to prevent it from dilating too soon. It has some risks along with success stories, but I feel uneasy about it still.

Needless to say I've been very emotional and feeling overwhelmed with processing all this. I will say it - I am fearful. My biggest fear is going into preterm labor and losing these precious girls. The Lord has been so incredibly good to us in this journey. He has been my hope and strength in some very challenging times. My prayer is that I will continue to trust him and not be overcome with worry. The babies are healthy, growing, and have strong heartbeats. We praise him in that!

I'm keeping this update short because I'm still quite emotional with all the what-if's. It's hard balancing my emotions and trusting completely in the Lord's plan.

Please pray for all of us in this. That God will perform a miracle and there will be improvement at next week's appointment. That I will rest, really rest in him and his truth. That Josiah will have some understanding of why I physically can't/shouldn't do certain things with him. Pray that this will strengthen us and our marriage and these healthy sweet babies will join us in 14 weeks. My heart. Oh how heavy it is.

Week 21

Week 21 has been kind of a whirlwind! I had my MFM check up on my cervix. It was an evening appointment, which was nice because the hubby was able to come with me - he hadn't been to any of my high risk appointments yet. They finished checking baby B's heart measurements, but are still missing a few little measurements on both girls. Will hopefully get those at the next one. So, last week (crazy Texas weather day appointment), they discovered my cervix was short - about 2.5cm. They wanted to monitor it the following week, so they checked it this week and it had shortened a bit more - to 2.3cm. The doctor recommended some progesterone to help regulate it (and hopefully lengthen it) and keep me from going into preterm labor. Kind of scary to think about, really. I've been very prayerful this week because I find myself worrying more than usual (is that even possible?!).

My blood pressure has been borderline most of this pregnancy, but it was ok at this appointment. I've started having some swelling in my right ankle/foot. Just another thing to keep an eye on. I will currently be going in to see my MFM doctors weekly to check on things and will continue to do so unless things change for the better.

Sigh.

Some good news is that the placenta previa has been cleared! Babies are growing well and have great heartbeats! I definitely find some relief in that. Still continuing to pray that my body will do what it is intended to, to keep these sweet littles cookin' for awhile longer and that I find comfort in the Lord's sovereignty - goodness knows I worry too much.

Had some fun this weekend at a sweet friend's baby shower! She's having a little girl any day now! It was so fun to see all the adorable things she will be wearing after she enters the world. I cannot wait to meet her and for our girls to be friends!

In other news, I've been thinking about baby names A LOT lately. These dear sweet friends are throwing me a baby shower at the end of the month and at first I wasn't feeling too pressed to have names picked out, but the more I thought about it (and the more I had a few people tell me "no pressure, but I'd like to get them monogramed/named items...") the more I wanted to have it decided fairly soon. I really like the idea of knowing them by name especially for such a special occasion (I was like that with J too). I know it's early to HAVE to have names, but I'm kind of type A and really wanted one of the most difficult decisions to be crossed off my list. My husband, on the other hand, did not share in my urgency. After a bit of discussion, going back and forth, and my harrassing him to the point that he locked himself in the bedroom to think, we finally agreed! Praise Jesus! Seriously. Coming up with one name is difficult, but TWO? Holy mother, was it challenging, but our marriage survived!

Wait. You want to know what they are? Oh. Ok. *drumroll, please...*

Ellie Lynne and Nora Lane

I've had Ellie's name picked out since after I had J and still really liked it. Lynne is my middle name and my aunt's first name. Nora was all Richard. He did good. Her middle name was actually the first one I blurted out, it was a miracle he liked it too! I seriously felt like there was a chorus of angels singing as we asked each other "Did we just make a decision?" Yes, babe, we did. No take backs!

Such a relief to have named these precious little girls already. We haven't discussed who will get what name yet...climb one mountain at a time, people...but it's nice to attach a name to them when I feel them moving around inside me. Plus, it will definitely help me get my decorating on in their nursery! I enjoy this kind of stuff!

As for this coming week, tomorrow (Monday) I have to go in bright and early for my glucose test, hang out for an hour, then find out if I have gestational diabetes. Praying we're all healthy! I'm not sure I can handle yet another "risk" in this pregnancy. It's been quite the roller coaster of emotions already. Then Tuesday I go in for my weekly MFM appointment. Definitely pray the progesterone is helping and we get some good news! I'll try to blog earlier in the week and keep y'all updated.