Life with the Wheelocks: Week 30!

My uterus has reached full term for a singleton, so all growing from here on out is going to be a bit rough and it started this week. So. Uncomfortable.

Hitting 30 weeks of pregnancy has been a big goal for me. There's just something about that number, like I'm in the home stretch and we're going to be ok. We've also managed to survive a week and a half with me on hospital bedrest. Y'all, it has been a roller coaster of emotions! So many ups and downs and so many things to be grateful for.

It took a couple of days before I started to feel the isolation and loneliness. I was so blessed by my small group girlfriends making a trip to be with me the second day I was here. Along with Richard spending as much time as he could those first few days and mom visiting with Josiah. When the weekend hit and I was alone a bit more during the day (a 3 year old boy does not do well cooped up in a hospital room full of things he can't touch), I became very emotional. I cried a lot that weekend. I wanted to just be home with my family. I wanted the comfort of my own environment and the ease of seeing friends. Monday was particularly rough this week when mom brought Josiah to visit. He didn't want much to do with me and kept asking to go home. He's 3 and in an unfamiliar place (and pretty moody that day too), but it hurt my heart a little. I just miss being with him, being his mom all day, every day. I've had to give up SO much control during this pregnancy, it felt like that was the moment I had given up the last of it and it was tough.

Mom is doing great with Josiah and we have a schedule figured out for him so he has some consistency and normalcy. He comes to visit me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning for a couple hours then again at least once on the weekends. Mom has joined a bible study at our church once a week, so she gets out, gets fed (and a break from J), and Josiah gets to interact with other kids. Some friends are planning on taking J for playdates every once and awhile too so he can see his friends. Richard's work schedule varies, but he's been able to stay the night a couple times this week and work from the CISCO office near the hospital. He usually comes by afterwards before heading home. Saying goodbye sure is tough. I sure do miss that man.

As far as me and the girls - we're doing well. Babies are having great NST results - they're monitored twice a day. I've had some contractions, but nothing too consistent or intense. I get ultrasounds twice a week - Tuesday and Friday. The girls are doing everything they should be doing during those - practice breathing, movements, heart rates, etc. And are weighing in about 3lbs 5oz each! The other day Richard and I were able to tour the NICU here and be filled in on "what if" scenarios. It was a bit overwhelming to see the little babies in there and imagine our girls joining them soon, but it was also very humbling to be reminded that we're blessed to have made it to 30 weeks - a lot of those babies were born much earlier and are still hanging on. The Lord is taking care of us, He really is. And if our sweet Ellie and Nora end up needing to stay in the NICU for some time, that will just be another chapter to our journey and we're a little more prepared for it now.

How long will I be here? We were given an idea, but nothing is concrete because obviously we really don't know what's going to happen or when these girls will join us. I've been told I will be here at least until 32 weeks, but sounds like it could very well be 34 weeks or longer. They will reassess things at 32 weeks. Since I've already started to dilate they are not checking my cervix anymore as it might bring on preterm labor, but they plan to try to check it digitally to see how it's holding up - baby A is really low, so that may be too difficult to find out. We'll have to wait and see.

The owners of the therapy dogs came by again last night. It's amazing how seeing and petting those furry friends can be so uplifting. I like seeing those pups every week. Every Thursday afternoon there's a social hour for the ladies in antepartum. I was looking forward to going to that today, but the lady who leads it was out sick so it was canceled. Maybe next week I can update on how that goes. It would be nice to meet some of the other women who are going through similar circumstances. Instead a friend came by today with her two little girls - it was great to visit with her and I'm so grateful she was willing to make the drive to come see me.

I know I've said this before, but I continue to be amazed at the outpouring of love and support from our friends and church body. To see God using them to bless and serve us is so touching. I'm rarely on the receiving side of such servanthood, but what a good reminder for me - who am I to rob them of the blessing God is giving them by serving us? I need to learn to say yes (and actually come up with good answers to the question: "what can I do for you today?" That's still a toughie for me). It's also so refreshing to know who is truly there for you - whether you let me know you're praying, text or email me to check in, or you manage to find a way to drive down here to visit me - all of it I'm grateful for and feel so loved. So many of you have littles, so I understand making the drive to Austin is just not feasible - that's one downside to being here.

I've been very encouraged this week. The Lord is using all of this in so many different ways and for so many different people. My hope is that our story can be used for His good. I read this in one of my devotionals this week and I just loved it and have held on to it:

Relax in the knowledge that the One who controls your life is totally trustworthy. Come to Me with confident expectation. There is nothing you need that I cannot provide.

We are being held by Him and continue to hope in Him as we wait in expectation for our sweet girls.