Week 16: Genders & Other News

My sweet boy wanted in on the baby bump photo this week

This has been a week of anticipation, mixed emotions (hello hormones!), and some worrisome information that I'm learning to lean on the Lord through. Let's just start from the beginning...

This past Tuesday was my monthly MFM (high risk) appointment. I was excited as we anticipated finding out the genders of these two littles. I knew it was a little early in pregnancy, but was very hopeful. I tried so hard not to get too attached to the idea we'd find out - didn't want to set myself up for disappointment if they were unable to tell. The few nights leading up to appointment day I had the same dream more than once. Both the same outcome. Both revealing the genders to our small group friends that it was a boy and a girl. My hearts desire. I had been praying for a baby brother for Josiah and a little girl for myself. Selfish? Maybe a little, but I wasn't totally naive to the fact that God may have other plans. My job was to ask God for peace with whatever the genders were. I knew I needed it. The peace. I did not want to feel disappointment once we knew.

I arrived at my morning appointment feeling a bit anxious. I will say it's nice to go in the morning to these appointments - hardly any wait time at all. Compare that to my 2 hour wait at my last appointment. I was pleased. Blood pressure was borderline (could have been nerves). Then the sonographer came in to check on the littles. I told her I'd really love to find out genders if possible, so she gave it her best effort. Baby A was in a goofy position (curled up with head down and legs up in the air - very hard to see the parts with certainty). Baby B was very cooperative and she could tell with certainty the gender. Even with only knowing one gender for sure and a getting a partial view/"pretty sure" with the other, we still wanted to share with friends. Drumroll please...

Twin GIRLS!!

I had mixed emotions when I found out. Don't get me wrong, I was definitely excited about having girls. My disappointment was for Josiah. He's my first baby and I just really wanted him to have a baby brother. Then I went to shock - am I going to be a good mommy to TWO GIRLS and a boy?! All the drama?! I think I still have these thoughts, but they're not as drenched in panic.

After the ultrasound I had to have another one done of my cervix. My usual MFM doctor was not there, so a different doctor came in to talk with me about the results of that. So, both babies are most likely fraternal because they each have their own sac that's separated by a membrane and their own placenta (although a test after their born is actually the only 100% way to know - unless of course it was one boy and one girl). What the doctor shared with me, rather nonchalantly, was that one of the placenta was low on my cervix. That's exactly how she explained it. She told me not to worry, that it should move up as the baby grows, and that we'll check again at the next appointment in February. Ok, I know they say not to worry, but hello it's me. I'm going to worry just a little (at least). At the time I wasn't totally sure what exactly it all meant, therefore I didn't really think too much of it.

On my way home I stopped at Kohl's to pick up two little girl outfits to tell Richard (since he wasn't able to come to the appointment with me). He's thought it was two girls all along, so he wasn't too surprised when I told him. I'm pretty excited to see him be a daddy to two girls. Oh my heart. We decided to tell our small group the next evening and I will be honest, I was glad to have a day to absorb all this information. Having that time allowed me to show some excitement for having two little girls and imagine what a great and protective big brother Josiah will be. Revealing the genders to our small group was great! I just wrapped up the outfits in gift bags and had a couple friends open them. It was fun to see their excitement!

This morning I received a phone call from my OB's office. They were calling to make sure I was aware of the previa. I had no idea what she was talking about and I had no problem telling her that. She explained to me that the ultrasound of my cervix showed partial placenta previa. Again, I was told there's no concern, which I understand there's no immediate concern, but I still can't help but feel a little anxious about it all. Since it's still early in the pregnancy, there's a good chance that as the baby grows the placenta will move up and all is good. We continue to pray for that to happen. If it doesn't then it brings extra complications to an already high risk pregnancy. I've learned the Lord is still working in me through this circumstance - the lessons and spiritual growth didn't stop once we became pregnant. He is my hope and the one to trust in. I'm very grateful for being able to see that, otherwise I'd be a mess. He will see us through and we're prayerful both babies and mommy are safe and healthy.

Next on my to-do list, coming up with baby names. It's rather overwhelming to find two girl names that go together, but aren't too matchy matchy. And the middle names. Ugh. I've had one picked out for years, but now I need to find a second one! I've got time. I've already had fun looking at all the girl clothes when shopping. I'm sure I will want to match them at times (they are twins!), but I also like looking at all the cute outfits that compliment another. This is going to be so much fun...and probably get me in a lot of trouble!! I'm also thinking of nursery ideas and am pretty sure on a wall color already. I'm telling you, I want to be prepared early because who knows what's going to happen!

I know I can be wordy, so maybe next week's post will short and sweet! ;)