Our Latest Journey

Some things in life are scary. Certain struggles are brief, some long, and others seemingly longer than any other struggle you've ever dealt with in life because you're smack dab in the middle of it. And that's scary. It's scary to sit down and try to put your thoughts, feelings, and emotions into writing for the world to see (or at least the few people who may stumble across your little blog). Although it's scary, you know that writing it all out and sharing about your experience will be somewhat therapeutic - a release of the pain you've been carrying around. Your struggle can be an encouragement to others and be a light in a dark place. I've debated sharing this journey because it's so personal, but I choose to not be scared anymore...

The Back Story

Two and half years ago we welcomed a beautiful baby boy into this world. I can still recall the day I found out I was pregnant. There were lots of tears. Real sobbing tears. This was not supposed to happen yet - we had a plan! Needless to say, baby J was a surprise. We were preventing pregnancy and ended up getting pregnant anyway. This was my first firm reminder that God is in control regardless of any other kind of plan I had in mind. Once I came to terms with the fact that we were going to have a baby and that everything would be OK because God will take care of our needs, I was joyful and fell in love with this little guy. Let me just say, he has stolen a huge part of my heart. I have the pleasure of getting to stay home with him and I have loved getting to experience every little moment with him watching him learn and grow.

The Here and Now
We've always talked about having children relatively close in age - a couple years apart maybe. So last summer we actually started trying. This was all new to us as J was not planned, so I tried the best I could to prepare myself for the possibility it wouldn't happen the first month. A couple months went by and I was a mess. Me, the person with a plan and following it to the T, and nothing was happening. The frustration and emotions were taking a toll on me - I wanted this to happen soon; I wanted it so badly and had been praying for this! I decided to scale back on playing the numbers game and watching the calendar so closely - I had to let go a little bit...and I could so see God chuckling to himself. Who's in control? Definitely not me. Yet another not-so-gentle reminder. A few more months passed and I was still feeling pretty discouraged when a friend of mine shared a verse with me:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  

-Romans 15:13 (NIV)

I also love this translation:

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

 -Romans 15:13 (NLT)

This verse is posted in my kitchen. I read it every single day as a reminder to stay hopeful. It is my daily prayer. I've spent a number of times in frustration because I couldn't understand why we weren't pregnant yet - I'm pretty sure everything is in working order and then there's our firstborn who we didn't even try for, why hasn't this happened for us yet? After reading this verse I knew I needed to change my focus. My time with God needed to be more evident. I needed to trust in Him and his timing. I needed to be HOPEFUL instead of discouraged. Where do I get my hope? In Him. Yes, my husband has been a wonderful encourager and the few friends that are aware of our journey have been such precious sounding boards and prayer warriors for us, but the Lord is the only one who has carried me through each day. He is there each time I watch my son play with my friends' babies and my heart aches for a baby brother or sister for him. Each time another friend announces they're expecting - I am beyond thrilled for them, but oh how it tugs at my heart wishing I was the one announcing that very thing. Each time I'm shopping for new clothes for J and I walk by the infant outfits and have to force myself to walk away before I get too sentimental over a onesie. Each time I feel guilt for wanting another child when there are people out there that are struggling to have their first. It has been one year and two months and I continue to strive to be hopeful in my waiting. My God has been so faithful to me and my family. He is my source of hope. Everyday.

*Currently we are waiting for my Ob appointment in September before we can find out what our next step is. Again, more waiting. I call each week to see if there have been any cancellations in hopes I can get in earlier, but so far no luck. If you would like, please pray for my family's journey through this process. We don't know the Lord's plan, but we know how big our God is and what he will do for his children. We continue to hold on to the promise of having another child. Our deepest thanks.

'Tis the Season!

We just celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas is already on its way - next week to be exact. Where has the time gone?!

As a family we decided to forgo Christmas cards this year. I LOVE to pick the perfect photo for them and send them to our friends and families who are spread out all across the United States. However, with the added cost of purchasing the cards AND the postage, we liked the idea of saving the money this year. So, this year our family and friends get an electronic version...this blog post :)

Our 2013 Year at a Glance

Richard:

• Still working for CISCO and likes it. He is able to work from home once or twice a week, which is great!
• His sister, Mindy, got married in South Carolina in November and we were able to travel to Georgia and then on to South Carolina for the wedding. It was great to see family and friends and show off Josiah - this was his first visit to Georgia since he's been born.
• Richard was able to go to the shooting range with his dad and brother and really enjoyed it.
• In November, he turned the big 3-0! We had a little celebration in South Carolina with his family then went to dinner to celebrate when we got back to Texas. He wanted to keep it small and simple - wish granted.
• Ran a 5k in December. He did awesome pushing Josiah in the stroller too! He would like to do another one in the Spring sometime.

Kassidy:

• Enjoyed preparing for Josiah's first birthday party in January! He won't remember it, but the time capsule family and friends helped create will be a great keepsake for him when he turns 18 years old.
• This summer Josiah and I flew out to Oregon to visit with family and some friends. Josiah was a trooper on the plane!
• In September, I started a new job! I am now a pre-kindergarten teacher at Belton Christian Preschool and enjoying it. It's only two days a week and Josiah gets to attend for free - the perfect job for right now!
• This Christmas, our little family gets to fly to Oregon to spend some time with my family. The last time we were able to have Christmas with them was five days after our wedding - four years ago. I'm really looking forward to it! It will also be Josiah's last free flight as he turns two in January (we HAD to get in another trip before then because it may be awhile before all of us can afford to travel up there for another holiday).

Josiah:

• He turned 1 in January and has grown like a weed since! He started walking at around 16 months old and started running a week later! He's always on the move!
• His vocabulary is growing more and more. He's a social boy, just not as verbal as his mommy would have expected - it's ok though! Some of his favorite words right now are: mommy, daddy, cat, puppy, MINE (gosh, where did he learn that?!), nigh-nigh, cracker, no, truck, and bye-bye.
• There was a time when he refused to hold our hand. I'm happy to say that he's become very good at holding our hands, especially in a parking lot or crowded place.
• He's always been a solid kid - he still is. He weighs in at about 34lbs to date. He loves to eat and he's very active, so he balances out. Maybe one day he'll lean out...
• He started school at Belton Christian Preschool (where mommy works) and has a blast! He had a couple different teachers in the beginning, but they finally found a permanent replacement and he loves her!

We've had a wonderful year and looking forward to what the Lord has in store for us in 2014! We want to wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS and we pray that as you celebrate the Savior's birth and think about priorities for the New Year, it will include a continued walk with the Savior or becoming refreshed in your walk.

With love,

The Wheelocks

Richard, Kassidy & Josiah

Trip to the Pumpkin Patch!

His first hot cocoa!

Josiah's Christmas Program at school - he was so in awe of all the people and lights he forgot to shake his bells!

Bundled up for our 5K!

Celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary! It has gone by so quickly!

Cautious boys - they DO exist!

I really need to get better at staying up to date with this blogging thing. Let me just say, life has been incredibly crazy and busy! In September I started teaching Pre-K two days a week at a Christian Preschool nearby in Belton, Texas. It was a HUGE transition and I think it has finally become second nature...now that's it's November. Four year olds are quite different from fourth gaders. It took some adjusting on my part to become a bit more relaxed with this new position. I love that it's only two days a week and that Josiah attends the preschool as well. It still makes me feel like I'm a stay-at-home mom.

So, along with the adjustment of a new job, I've been sick off and on consistently for the past month or so AND we just took a road trip Georgia and South Carolina for my sister-in-laws wedding. A good trip to see family, but that took a lot out of me! Not to mention Josiah (and Richard too). I'll spare all the details, but the drive out there was manageable. We decided to drive through the night so Josiah could sleep. For the most part he did (minus the random moments of waking up squealing and giggling). The drive home, however, was just awful. To start, I was not feeling well so Richard did most of the driving (16 hours straight until I was able to finally help out) and then Josiah was so overtired from the trip and daylights savings that he was literally crying in his sleep the majority of the drive home. Talk about exhausting! But we made it and it's been about a week since being home and we're all pretty much caught up on sleep and back on normal schedules. Praise the Lord!

With all of that said, life goes so quickly. We definitely keep busy - how can you not when you've got an almost two year old running around?! I'm so very thankful for nap time when I have a moment to just sit (for a minute or for 60 - depending on the day) and just think. Stop and pay attention to the moments I've made or witnessed with my child. The other day when I had a minute, I realized how much Josiah has grown in the past several months. Even in the past week. I swear he grew a foot this past week!

You know when you're a new mom and you worry about silly things like - will my child ever talk? will he ever drink out of a sippy cup and ditch the straw? will he ever understand, learn, and grow? - I know these are valid in the right circumstance, but everyone knows I would worry about these things at all the wrong times. As Josiah's mommy, I've learned that my son is a very easy going little boy. I've known this since he was an itty bitty infant in my arms. Knowing that still wasn't enough for me to 'get' how to be patient with his developments. He does his own thing at his own pace with, what feels like every. single. thing. The Lord is still teaching me to relax and enjoy my son and spend less time worrying about all those milestones you read and hear about of what they 'should' be doing at such and such month/age. I feel like my son has told me time and time again: "Dude. Chill. I'll get there. Promise." Because I've learned that dude, he really has gotten there just as he promised.

Josiah started walking at 16 months and started running at what seemed like 16 months and 1 day. He LOVES playing outside. He's the kind of kid that doesn't really need toys to entertain him. He finds curiosity in most anything - doors, drawers, wheels, remotes, buttons, levers, dials, etc. I love this about him. I thoroughly enjoy watching him try to figure out how doorknobs and latches work. He's still pretty uninterested in TV, which is a blessing and a curse at times - mostly a blessing, though. I recently purchased him a Little Tikes slide. He loves climbing up steps so he got that right away. He had trouble figuring out how to sit down and then slide down the slide. That was about a month ago and just the other day it was like, BAM, he figured it out. He goes up and down that thing over and over again with no help! He takes his time with things and a lot of that has to do with how cautious he is. For a boy, it still kind of amazes me that he doesn't just let himself fall down the slide, or keep running when he comes across an obstacle. He will run at full force to a set of stairs and stop suddenly at the edge and very slowly figure out how he can step down without falling. I take him to an open gym every once and awhile. There's trampolines to jump on and things to climb on and jump off of. He loves to 'jump' - bend his knees up and down, His feet never leave the ground. If that's what you love, kid, then go for it. He'll get there. He really will. For now, I'm enjoying watching him figure that out and the pure joy and pride he has in himself for accomplishing it...in his own time.

Now, I know boys aren't generally the chatting type, but as a teacher I really wanted him to talk and say words early on. I felt like if he didn't, it meant that his certified-teacher-mom had failed. I've had to learn to change my expectations. He loves talking jibberish. His vocabulary has grown a lot more lately though. Some of his favorite words: cat, puppy, mommy, down (such an independent boy), light, and outside. When asked what the fire truck says, he replies: "weeoooh-weeoooh!" and he just learned that a lion says: "arhhhhh" It sounds more like a grunty sigh, but I love his version :)

My little boy is talking. He is understanding things. He is learning and he is growing. As far as the sippy cup thing...we'll get there. Right now, I'm enjoying watching him figure these things out.

Playing music at the park

Sitting in his early Christmas present from Aunt Mindy and playing with his plane

Road trip home from South Carolina and Georgia

Trying to figure out the can opener

Climbing at open gym

Walking along the trampoline at open gym

His version of jumping on the trampoline

His shirt says it all

So proud of himself going down the slide on his own

Easy Taco Casserole

Mom's taco casserole. It was as easy as hamburger helper and was about the same price to make, but with a bit more flavor. We had this for dinner a lot growing up. I was (ok, I'm still) a pretty picky eater. With this said, I hate the texture of onions. My mom made her taco casserole with onions. Not big chunks of onions. No, she cut them small enough that I could see them and know they were there so I'd spend most of my time picking them out before eating.

Aside from the onions, this casserole has stood the test of time. I ate it growing up and now I feed my little family this very meal...with my own personal adjustments. Below is my mother's original recipe with my adjustments in parentheses.

Taco Casserole
1-1 1/2 lbs ground beef (I use chicken instead - tenderlions 'shred' a little easier when cooked in a skillet)

Grated cheddar cheese (as much as you want - I use about 2-3 cups for extra cheesy)

1 medium onion, chopped (I use one packet of taco seasoning instead)

1 bag Nacho Cheese Doritos

1 can tomato soup

1 can tomato sauce

1. Brown meat and onion (or taco seasoning) together - drain grease
2. In small sauce pan heat together the tomato soup and tomato sauce.
3. Layer casserole dish starting with sauce, crushed Doritos, meat mixture, cheese, sauce. Repeat for 3 layers.
4. Bake at 350 for 10-20 minutes. Top with lettuce and tomatoes if desired.

Goes well with a little of my easy sopapilla cheesecake for dessert :) Enjoy!

A One Year Old in a Flash!

Back in January our little bundle of poopy mess joy turned one. I had been planning for this day for, well, probably the entire first year of his life. After much research and creativity I came up with his 'theme' and got started on those darn invitations. I really did enjoy being the one to make them, but do you have any idea how long it takes to make 30+ invitations with a little one crawling around? Needless to say I knew it would be a challenge so I started early and worked on them during his naps (thank goodness for two naps!). It took me several weeks to get them all done and I totally blame it on my perfectionist ways. The invitations set everything. It let everyone know just how special I wanted to make his first birthday. Yeah, yeah, I'm completely aware that he will never remember it, but I wanted to capture the memories for him, box them up and share them with him when he turned 18. So that's what we did.

Working on the invitations and inserts...VERY time consuming with that cheap paper cutter

"One Year Old in a FLASH!" was his theme. Let me tell you, that filmstrip took some serious time and effort and is by far my most favorite part of the invite for that very reason. I've got a special place in my heart for photography. It's a hobby of mine that I wish I had more time to perfect. Knowing that (and the number of photos I took during his first year) I felt it necessary to have his first birthday centered around capturing special moments we had with him. We also wanted our guests to feel a part of it as well. The insert I made was explaining that on Josiah's 18th birthday he would open a time capsule that was created for him on his first birthday by the people that love him. I'm not gonna lie, as his mom I'm pretty excited to see what people decided to create or write to make him feel so special and encouraged (I've already had a few sneak peaks and, boy are they awesome!).

Time Capsule station complete with instructions, paper, pens, and the needed time capsule container

We asked family from far away to mail in items to be added and for friends to bring something with them when they attended the party. We left out some 'just in case' items for guests to write notes of encouragements, prayers, and/or blessings for Josiah. I thought it very fitting to have a mailbox hold all these items for him until his 18th birthday. It's a plus that it's easy to store, unbreakable, and not see-through...still working on getting that thing shoved in a closet somewhere for safe keeping.

Party sign

First year by month banner

Baby boy in his birthday suit!

Found this lady on Etsy. She did a wonderful job on his onesie

I kept decorations simple and found other ways to save money:
-I made the invitations myself
-homemade tissue pom poms and banner for decor
-homemade cupcakes and frosting
-served fruit, veggies, and something salty (held the party between lunch and his afternoon nap so that cut down on food costs)
-made the easiest punch known to man (sherbet and sprite/7-up)
-party favors for the kiddos where found at Target near the party decoration section (there's a photo of what the party favor was if you keep scrolling)
-Dollar store toys and bubbles for the kids and we were also extremely blessed to have some friends lend us their bounce house to keep the kids entertained...it turned out to be a beautiful January day in Texas for it!

Here are some additional photos of his special day:

Cake!

note on the party favor bags

some very awesome friends sporting the party favors

Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt quilt my mom made for her little grandson

Josiah's 1st birthday was a complete success! I was able to snap a few good memories for my little man, spend a special day with my family, and do it all on a small budget. 

Simple is sometimes ten times better!
-Kassidy

P.S. If you want any other details on how I created some of the items for the party, feel free to ask. I would be happy to help!

Absence, New Year, and Goals

It has been quite some time since my last post. It's a new year (yes, I know I'm close to a month late), but we ended 2012 with several accomplishments and a lot of memories.

All the talk about running and doing a 5k, I finally made it happen! The original plan was to run my first 5k on Thanksgiving day after completing the Couch to 5k running program. Well, I finished the program but was unable to run the 5k then...I ended up with strep on Thanksgiving. I know, a bad day to have strep, but I actually managed to cook a Thanksgiving meal and bake some pumpkin pies for my little family. Health mask and all. With getting sick, I was not working out as often (or at all) and still planned to run a 5k before the new year arrived. December 16th I finally got to cross that goal off my list. My husband ran it with me and actually pushed the jogging stroller for me so I could focus on running. I also accomplished my goal for the 5k - to run the entire time without stopping. It felt so good to run across that finish line!

After the 5k I took a break from working out so strictly. The holiday season was upon us, we got busy, and I really wanted to enjoy making memories and creating traditions with my family. The new year arrived and among all the hype surrounding new years resolutions I came to the realization that I've become 'comfortable' with myself. I use that word loosely as I don't really feel comfortable at all. I still want to reach my goal weight and feel confident again. I guess I've become complacent with my weight as I feel it's been really hard lately to get that scale to budge. I did start the year off committing myself to Zumba at least twice a week. It's a start in the right direction. The toughest thing for me is food. I love me some ice cream (seasons don't apply here - it's good year round). Currently I'm in the process of trying to kick some of my old habits that have come back regarding portion control and my sweet tooth. Still working out, but the food is counter balancing that some.

Sticking with the theme of new years resolutions, which I prefer to just call goals, I'll list a few mine below:
-Read through the bible in a year. I've started this with my husband, but have already fallen a week or two behind. I'm choosing to not kick myself and just stop, but instead give myself grace and keep going (not an easy thing to do for me!). It may not happen in exactly a year, but I will read through it (I use one of the bible in year plans from youversion.com and it's been great).
-Get back on track with my eating and exercise. At some point this year we plan to expand our family and my biggest goal since our first child was born is that I would like to lose all my pregnancy weight (plus some) before getting pregnant again. I'm about 10lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight and they've been the toughest to get rid of. I've been up and down a lot with those pounds. Must keep pushing forward amidst how difficult that really is.
-Spend more quality time with my husband. We haven't been on a date in a couple months. Ok, I lied. Yesterday was our first date in about two months. Things get so busy with the holidays and anniversary in December and our son's and my birthday in January that finding a babysitter so we can go out alone was next to impossible. I want to be better about that this year and keep our marriage strong.

I think three is a good place to stop. Surely I have more goals than that, but this is where I'm starting. The other ones overlap and can come later.

I will end with this:

My favorite memory of 2012 was getting to celebrate our little boy's first Christmas together, just the three of us. We were able to start some of our own traditions with him that I hope to keep from year to year.

My first memory of 2013 was celebrating our little boy's first birthday with friends and family. It was so wonderful to have our parents come out to see their grandson turn 1 and celebrate such a special time with us. I'm so thankful for the friendships we have made here. These people have become like family to us as our family is so far away most of the year. Such blessings.

Next post: Little man's first birthday bash!

Couch - 'I hope I can make it to a' - 5k

Let's face it, I needed to get my rear up off that couch and get running. I HATE running. I LOATHE running. Yet I had this crazy weird DESIRE to start running. The heck?!?!

I was getting tired of the same 'ol thing 5 days a week. I wanted to mix it up. So I just decided that I would start the Couch to 5K program. I bought a jogging stroller (for a crazy cheap deal thanks to Craigslist), downloaded the free podcasts of a guy telling me when to walk and when to run, and I set my days for running. A week or so into it I did a check-in with my weight loss progress. I will tell you, it's been rather challenging this past month. I feel stuck. The scale won't budge and I'm not noticing any changes in inches. I never took an actual, for real 'before' picture when I started this journey, but this is about what I looked like when I started...right after our little boy was born.

 Ew. Just...ew. I mean, granted this was the day we came home from the hospital, I'm a new mom, we'd had very little sleep (if any), and I was so incredibly uncomfortable. But I look at this picture and just see how bad I felt about myself...during a time of sheer joy holding that little boy. It breaks my heart. I wanted to be happy with myself. It was a few weeks being home that I finally made the decision to start losing the weight (which, by the way, I also vowed to NEVER gain that much weight during a pregnancy again...I advise against it). I started slow, just with food and portion control. When I was up to feeling better I started exercising. At about this time, at the end of March, I joined myfitnesspal.com to help with counting calories and exercise.

 The 'before' picture. I had lost about 20-25lbs prior to taking this picture.

This picture is of me in early September and about 25lbs down from my 'before' photo. It wasn't until I compared these two pictures that I finally saw some real change in my physical appearance. I'm still not where I want to be and can barely fit into my pre-pregnancy pants/shorts (almost 50lbs smaller. sad.), but I'm reminded to celebrate the small accomplishments and the non-scale victories.

I just completed week 4 of the c25k and earlier this week I ran 1 3/4 mile without stopping. This is amazing for me! And I'm definitely feeling it ;) This week was a little tough. I ran slower because my legs are so sore, but I tough it out and force myself to keep going and not stop to walk (even though I'm dying to). I feel so much better physically than I have in a long while. And now that the Texas weather is cooling down a bit, it feels so good to wake up in the morning, feed little man, strap him in the jogging stroller, and step outside for a run.

Come Monday morning I start the dreaded week 5...a 20 minute run...nonstop. Did I mention I'll be running for 20 minutes NONSTOP? Seriously, I know I'm freaking out about this a little, but I'm determined to do it! And I'm sure these little guys will help out :)

 He just melts my heart <3.

And these babies are pretty comfy :)

My husband has started joining me on my runs on his days off. We are planning on doing a 5K on Thanksgiving Day :) We definitely have some things to look forward to this coming holiday season...but I'll have to save that for future posts!

So I'm going to leave you with a challenge: Get off the couch, tie on some tennis shoes, and go work out! Even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood for 20-30 minutes or if it's an hour or more at the gym, fight the urge to stay in and 'relax' and get out and get active!